


we're far from the shallow now

by lesbians_harold



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, i wanna tag it slow burn but its just a normal burn?, just read the fic, kind of, listen im just gonna ignore canon all together ok?, oh and how could i forget
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-03-07 22:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18882094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbians_harold/pseuds/lesbians_harold
Summary: “Do you think – do you think we’ll have a happy ending?” She knows its naive, and childish, to even think that - but she can’t help but ask, because, although she’ll never admit this, she wants to believe - in them, in their future. She wants to believe they can fix it. The question is, could they?Adora looks down at her cards in thought, before she makes a move.“I think,” she says as she puts down a card, “that if we wanted to, we could.”She looks up at Catra, and her eyes are soft and hopeful. And Catra believes her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> listen...that cliffhanger tho. But seriously, this fic is so far from canon I can't even...pure wishful thinking. But hey, enjoy Catra's redemption arc, I guess?

_In all the good times I find myself_

_Longing for change_

_And in the bad times I fear myself_  

_I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in_

_I'll never meet the ground_

_Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us_

_We're far from the shallow now_

**…**

Sweat drips down Adora’s face, making a lock of her blonde hair cling to her forehead as she kicks the heavy punching bag dangling in front of her with a grunt. She proceeds to land a few punches on the red leather and then finishes with a combo. Kick – punch – kick. Her muscles ache, but it’s the good kind of ache, the one you get when you’ve pushed your body to its limit.

Whenever Adora needs to get out of her head – which is quite often – she trains. When she’s active, she doesn’t have to think or feel; she just is. And that can be a nice break for the protector of the planet.

However, that also means that as soon as her body is not preoccupied, her thoughts come right back – and they are always about _her_.

As soon as Adora sits down on the mat for a water break, she is taken back. To the Fright Zone, to _her_. Catra.

Catra, who used to be her best friend.

Catra, who she left behind.

Catra, who is now trying to kill her.

Adora falls back on the mat with a sigh. Why couldn’t she just have followed her? It’s not like Adora wanted to leave _her_ , she wanted to leave _the Horde!_ Maybe…maybe Catra saw herself as the Horde, maybe she didn’t want to leave her home…although Adora always thought that _they_ were each other’s home…maybe she was wrong.

She gets up in one swift move and proceeds to punch the bag, but the thoughts are still running through her head.

 _How could she do this?_ – punch – _did I mean nothing to her?_ – kick – _was I not enough to leave?_ – punch, kick. Adora lets out a grunt.

“Stupid,” she mumbles, not really knowing if she means herself, Catra, or their situation.

Because here’s the thing – here’s _the thing_ – she loves Catra. After all this time, after all their fighting, she still cares for her. She can’t help it. She’s known the girl ever since they were kids. _But_ she is also incredibly mad at Catra – for not coming with her, for kidnapping her friends, for leaving her dangling off a cliff – really, the list goes on.

And more than anything, she is mad at herself, for not being able to convince her to come with her, for not understanding her, for not being _enough._

She was never _enough_.

Adora feels the tears burn behind her eyes, but she ignores it and punches the bag harder.

_Why wasn’t I enough?_

Her small breakdown is however quickly interrupted by Bow running into the room. She stops mid kick and lowers her leg, turning towards him. His usually content face is twisted in a worried expression, and she instantly knows that something is wrong.

“What is it?”

“You have to come and see this,” he says. Adora nods and follows him silently.

They half jog through the halls and into the infirmary where they are met by the most unexpected sight – Scorpia, sitting on a chair by one of the beds and crying, while Glimmer is trying to calm her down.

“I just – I don’t know how it happened! Everything was fine, and then she went into Hordak’s sanctum, and then – and then –” Scorpia cuts herself off with a loud wail. Glimmer awkwardly pats her on the back, just as her eyes meet Bow’s and Adora’s. She mouths _Help_ , and Bow quickly rushes to her side, to help her calm her down.

Adora is still confused. _Why is Scorpia here? And why is she_ crying _?_ All her answers are however immediately answered when she steps closer and looks over Scorpia’s shoulder. In the bed, pale and unmoving, lies an unconscious Catra.

“What – what is she doing here?” Adora stammers out.

“That’s what we’ve been trying to find out for the past ten minutes,” Glimmer tells her. Adora shakes her head. “No – it can’t be…is she –” Adora can hear her own heartbeat in her ears, and her eyes are stinging again. _No_.

“She’s alive. But she’s weak, and will probably be unconscious for a while,” Glimmer says.

All Adora can do is nod. “How – how did this happen?”

“It was Hordak – he did something to her. I don’t know what, but I found her like this in his sanctum,” Scorpia says and snivels. Adora nods again. It’s as if time stands still, as she watches Catra lie in that bed. Catra – always so energetic, always moving when they fight – now lifeless, and still, almost like a doll.

Adora can’t hold her tears back any longer.

“I did this,” she cries and sinks down on the floor by the end of the bed.

“What?” Bow and Glimmer look confused at her, and even Scorpia stops crying in shock.

“How is this _your_ fault?” Bow asks.

“If I had been a better friend, if I could’ve convinced her to come with me when I left, this wouldn’t have happened to her,” Adora sobs into her hands. She feels a familiar warm hand on her back.

“Adora, you can’t possibly blame yourself for this,” Glimmer says in a soft voice, making the blonde look up.

“You don’t understand, I –”

“You did what you could. You asked her to come with you and she didn’t, whatever came after that is on her,” Glimmer says. And then, because Scorpia sends her a rather unimpressed look, she adds “Except for this. This is obviously Hordak’s doing.” Satisfied, Scorpia nods.

“What I don’t understand though, is why you chose to come to _us_?” Bow asks Scorpia. She dries her cheeks with a napkin before answering.

“Well, I – I didn’t know where else to go, to be honest. I mean, since Hordak did this to her, he obviously doesn’t want her in the Horde anymore, so we couldn’t stay there…And I knew if I just walked into a civilian town, they’d probably refuse to help us, since we’re soldiers and all that. So, I figured, the only person who’d want to help us was you guys.”

“But _why_?”

Scorpia sends him an amused look. “Isn’t it obvious? Because Adora still loves her and would do anything for her.” They all three turn to look at Adora.

Caught off guard, Adora feels a blush rise in her cheeks.

“I –”

Before Adora can answer, everyone’s attention suddenly shifts to the bed, as Catra jerks up in a sitting position with a gasp. She begins to cough, and Scorpia is immediately next to her, arm around her lean shoulders, leaning in.

“Hey, hey, Catra?”

“Yeah,” she coughs out. Then, without a warning, she begins to cry, and the coughs turn into sobs.

Adora wants to step in, to hug her, but it’s not that simple – it never is with them – so instead, she takes a step back and stands next to Glimmer, and lets Scorpia handle it.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now,” Scorpia says, pulling her in for a hug, and to Adora’s surprise, she lets her, and buries her face into her chest.

Soon enough, her sobs cease, and she lifts her head to look around. And that’s when she sees Adora. Their eyes meet and Catra’s widen. Immediately, she pushes away from Scorpia with a hiss.

“Where are we? Why is _she_ here?” The way she says it, while looking at Adora, makes her feel guilty all over again.

“Okay, please, don’t freak out. I found you in Hordak’s sanctum unconscious, and took you to Bright Moon,” Scorpia says, holding up her claws defensively.

“You did _what_?!” Catra pushes her away, the look of utter betrayal painted on her face.

“I told you not to freak out!”

“I can’t believe this…you brought me, _me_ , a high-standing Force Captain, and yourself, another Force Captain, right to the heart of the Rebellion!” _If looks could kill, Scorpia would already be dead_ , Adora thinks as she watches her ex-best friend badmouth her colleague.

“I did what I thought was best for us! Have you forgotten what Hordak did to you?”

And just like that, Catra’s anger pops like a bubble, and her face falls.

“I –”

“He almost killed you, Catra. And then he left you there…If I didn’t bring you here, he probably would’ve –” Scorpia cuts herself off as tears begin to stream down her face again. Catra bites her lip, looking guilty.

“Stop crying,” she says, almost pleadingly under the annoyance. “Stop it!” she snaps, and Scorpia actually stops crying.

“Don’t – I’m fine now. Can we just go home? Please?” Her eyes wander the room, avoiding to look at her crying coworker, and land on Adora again, who simply stands next to the other two, watching the scene silently.

Their eyes lock for a moment. _Home._ That’s what they used to be to each other. Before everything, Adora used to think Catra was her home – and she thought she did too. And maybe she did, once, but certainly not anymore.

Catra’s gaze shifts back to Scorpia, and Adora lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. _Maybe it’s for the best_ , she thinks. Catra clearly doesn’t want to be around her anymore, she can barely look at her…if she stays, it’s only going to hurt both of them. Or maybe –

Adora’s train of thoughts is interrupted when Catra starts coughing again, even worse than before. Scorpia leans in again, but she pushes her away.

“Clearly, you’re _not_ fine,” Glimmer says in a matter-of-fact tone, and Catra stops coughing for a second to glare at her.

“Oh, great, you’re here too, Sparkles,” she says, and coughs again, three times, before she stops.

Unwillingly, she takes the cup of water Scorpia handles her, and drinks from it. When it’s empty, she dries her mouth with her palm before looking up at the trio.

“I bet you’re loving seeing me weak like this. But don’t be fooled, I could still kick your asses if I wanted to,” she says, eyeing them with a smirk.

“You know, I really _doubt_ that,” Glimmer says, and Catra breathes in to bite back, only to start coughing again.

While Catra’s not looking, Adora nudges Glimmer in the side with her elbow, making the shorter girl send her a puzzled look. Adora shakes her head and mouths _Don’t_. It won’t do any good if they started arguing.

Glimmer rolls her eyes but doesn’t make any more smart remarks.

Catra’s cough ceases, and before she can threaten them again, Bow says, “Listen, I know you don’t like us –”

Catra lets out a dry laugh. “Ha! That’s _a bit_ of an understatement.”

He frowns, but continues nonetheless: “And you’ve got no reason to trust us –”

“You’re right about that.”

“But –”

“But?” She tilts her head as if she’s actually interested in what he has to say.

“You’re hurt. And you can’t go back to the Horde.”

She scowls but doesn’t interrupt him.

“And _we_ ,” he motions for himself and the two girls next to him, “have resources to help you.”

Her eyes quickly glance at Adora, before looking back at Bow.

“So, for your own good, you should stay. That doesn’t mean we will force you to join the Rebellion, and as long as you stay civil as well, we won’t imprison you either.” Bow looks at her expectedly.

“Am I supposed to trust you just like that?”

Adora is taken aback by the smug look that spreads on Bow’s face.

“Do you really have a choice?”

Catra narrows her eyes at this, but Adora notices the impressed quirk appearing on her lips.

There is a beat before she finally says “Fine,” and puts out her hand for him to shake.

“Do we have a deal, then?” he says, lifting his own hand towards her.

“Yes.”

With a satisfied smile, he takes her hand in his own and shakes it. Catra smirks, grabs him by the wrist and yanks him down to her level. He lets out a grunt, but his face in unreadable when she leans in.

Her face is inches from his as she says: “But if you so much as _try_ to stuff me in a tiara, or try to ‘befriend’ me? I. Won’t. Hesitate.” Her claws dig into the skin of his forearm, but he doesn’t even flinch. Adora’s respect for him grows even deeper.

“Got it?”

He nods shortly, holding her gaze. “Got it.”

Catra lets go of him, and he steps back. Adora can spot the small cuts from her claws on his skin, but he doesn’t seem to pay them any mind as he says: “But you have to hold your end of the bargain too – no attacking the guards, or trying to kidnap us or –”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” she waves him off. His expression tightens, but he doesn’t bite back.

“We’ll be watching you,” he simply says, before turning to Adora and Glimmer.

“Come on, let’s leave them to it,” he says to them, and heads for the door. They follow him without objection, still shaken by his coolness about the situation.

Adora walks out as the last, and can’t help but look back. Scorpia takes her place, dragging her chair to the end of Catra’s bed, as the girl herself lies down on it again, as Scorpia begins to talk her ears off.

Just then, she sees Adora in the doorway. Their eyes meet for the third time that day, and an ache settles in Adora’s chest. They didn’t even talk to each other just then…but then again, what is there to say that hasn’t been said already? Is there, really, _anything_ to say?

Catra looks away again, and Adora walks out of the infirmary with a sigh.

She catches up with the pair ahead of her and walks next to Glimmer down the hall.

“My mom is gonna have a _fit_ when she hears about this,” Glimmer says.

“I mean, they could be useful – if we convince them to give up some info, although I doubt that we can.”

“Part of the deal was that we _won’t_ try to convince them to do anything, remember?” Bow reminds her.

“Speaking of – I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t think you had it in you,” Glimmer says.

“Well, what can I say. I’m full of surprises,” Bow shrugs, but his voice is lacking the humorous tone.

Adora eyes his face – usually soft and friendly – now in a permanent scowl.

“You don’t trust her.”

“Of course, I don’t trust her Adora,” he says, eyes widening in anger. “She pushed me off a cliff!”

“But?”

“But we can’t just let them run out in the wild, especially not if she’s hurting.”

Adora nods, her expression neutral.

“And besides, I don’t think you would’ve let me, anyway,” he adds, eyeing her with a knowing smile. Glimmer mirrors him, and now they’re both looking at her _like that_.

Adora halts, and they do as well.

“I –” she starts to argue but cuts herself off just as quickly. _They know_ . They’ve _always_ known, so there was no need for her to deny it.

“You don’t have to say it right now, it’s okay,” Glimmer says, putting an assuring hand on her shoulder.

“But just know, that if you want to talk about it, we’re here for you.” She smiles softly, and Adora smiles back with a nod.

“Thank you, guys. And I _do_ want to talk about it – it’s just –” she lets out a grunt in frustration. Why is it so hard to say it all out loud? It’s not like she’s not already thinking about it most of her waking hours…and yet, opening up, telling them everything...

“Come on, let’s talk about it in my room,” Glimmer says, and takes her hand to lead her around the corner. Adora hadn’t realized they had already walked that far.

Once inside Glimmer’s room, she takes her favorite spot on the windowsill, and hugs a pillow to her chest, as her friends patiently wait for her to start talking.

She lets out a sigh and begins “Okay, so you know me and Catra grew up together. And well, we were about just as close as the two of you, if not closer, and then I –” She feels her eyes start to sting, but continues anyway, “and then I left her. And I know she hates me for that, and I know she wants to take me down, but I can’t help – I can’t help still caring about her. I’ve known her for so long and seeing her like this…it hurts. It hurts worse than anything else could, and I just –”

She takes in a sharp breath. Tears run silently down her cheeks (when did she start crying?), and she hugs the pillow closer with a sigh. “I just want her to forgive me. But I know that she’d never do that.”

She dries her cheeks with her hand and snivels, trying to blink the tears away.

Glimmer is sitting on the floor and looks at her with a soft expression, while Bow is ugly-crying on an ottoman.

“I’m sorry, Adora,” Glimmer says, reaching out to touch her knee. Adora gives her a sad smile.

“It’s okay. Or, I mean, it’s not okay, but it’s good to talk about it.” Glimmer smiles, and Adora adds, “Thank you.”

“No problem,” she says, and sits next to her to hug her. Adora hugs back, even with the pillow between them.

“Oh, Adora,” Bow sobs, and hugs her from behind as well, his tears staining her shoulder.

They stay like that for a minute or so, only crying half of the time, before they pull away. But now, Adora feels a lot better than before, because even if Catra won’t forgive her, she still has two best friends who care for her. And maybe that is enough for now.

…

Scorpia joins them for dinner, and it’s a little awkward at first, but that doesn’t stop her from immediately breaking out in banter, complementing the food and the palace, before going on to have a ridiculous conversation with Bow about décor and what not.

“I don’t get it,” Glimmer cuts in as they start to talk about their families. They send her a confused look in unison.

“I just mean – just a week ago, you were dangling me off a bridge. How can you sit here and be so… _cheery_?”

“ _Glimmer_ ,” Bow says through his teeth.

Adora freezes, her fork halfway to her mouth, and looks between the two princesses.

Scorpia blinks slowly before saying, “Well, you guys are giving us refuge, when you could’ve denied to…do you _not_ want me to be thankful for that?”

“No, no, I do, I’m just – I don’t get how you can just sit and be civil with us.”

Scorpia tilts her head in question. “Wasn’t that part of the deal?”

Glimmer clicks her tongue. “Okay, what I’m trying to say is: don’t you hate us?”

“Well, I mean, I don’t like being shot at and getting sparkles in my face, sure, but it’s not like we’re fighting now, are we? Or is that what you’re leading up to – I’m a little confused here.” Scorpia furrows her brows.

Glimmer sighs. “No, it’s just – I thought you’d be more loyal to the Horde, that’s all.”

Scorpia’s expression darkens. “I’m loyal to my friends.”

Then, when Glimmer keeps staring at her, she continues, “I was in the Horde because that’s where I had been raised. To be honest, I never really cared about their cause or the war. They gave me a job and a place to sleep – that was enough. But then I met Catra, and we became friends, and I knew that I’d do anything for her – including leaving the Horde.”

Adora stares at her as well. To think, that Scorpia really is Catra’s friend, the way Adora should’ve been...It makes her sad, thinking that she had been replaced…but on the other hand, she is happy for Catra. She needs a friend like that, now more than ever.

“You’re a good friend, Scorpia,” she says before she can stop herself. Scorpia’s gaze moves to hers and she smiles shyly.

“Thank you, for saying that. Of course, I can never replace _you_ , but I’d like to think that I can be there for Catra, regardless.”

Adora’s brows furrow. “Replace me? But I thought you –”

“ _Adora_.” Bow sends her a silencing look.

Adora swallows her words and turns to her plate again. Suddenly, she’s not so hungry anymore. What did Scorpia mean by that? Is Catra – does she _miss her_? A sprout of hope begins to grow inside her – maybe it wasn’t too late, maybe she could still fix this, maybe –

Determination settles in her. She knew there was only one way to find out.

After dinner, Scorpia starts preparing a plate for Catra. While Glimmer and Bow walk off, Adora stays behind, and approaches the former Force Captain.

“Hey, Scorpia?”

Plate in hand, she turns around and towers over Adora, her face ever so friendly.

“What’s up?”

“Do you think, maybe, I could…” She can’t even say it, and she _hates_ it. She motions for the plate.

Scorpia’s brows furrow. “This is for Catra, sorry,” she says.

Adora groans and palms her face. “Yes, I know. I want to –” She grunts. _Just say it!_

Luckily, Scorpia catches on quickly. “Oh! You want to take this to her so you can talk?”

Adora nods. “ _Yes_.”

Scorpia clicks her tongue. “Oh, I don’t know if that would be a good idea…she’s pretty tired after today, and you know how she gets when she’s tired.” She gives Adora a knowing smile, as if they have an inside joke together. Adora just stares at her.

Shooting her an apologetic smile, she begins to walk, but Adora follows her. She won’t take no for an answer – not when she’s this close.

“Scorpia, please,” she begs.

“Maybe it’s better if you wait till morning…” Scorpia says, as they enter the hall.

“Scorpia –”

“No, wait, she’s grumpy in the mornings too…” she thinks out loud, ignoring Adora’s desperate voice.

“Scorpia –”

“Lunch?”

They stop in front of the hall to the infirmary.

“Scorpia _, please_ ,” Adora pleads, ready to drop to her knees.

Suddenly, her friendly face darkens. “You know, if it was up to me, you’d never see her again.”

Adora steps back, mouth parting in shock. “What?”

“You have no idea, do you? How much you meant to her, how much she’s hurting right now.” Her voice is low, borderline threatening.

“No, I do,” Adora says.

Scorpia quirks a brow. “Do you?”

Did she? After all this time, did she, really?

Adora sighs, defeated. “Look, I just want to talk to her, that’s all,” she says, meeting Scorpia’s eyes.

“I’m sure you do. But she nearly died today, Adora. Do you really think she needs to talk to _you_ , of all people?”

Losing her patience, Adora exclaims: “If not now, then when?!”

Scorpia simply looks at her for a moment before saying “You know, you remind me of her. She’s always acting on her impulses too – and look where that got her.”

Adora doesn’t know how to answer that. It was oddly cryptic, as if Scorpia was implying that _Catra_ got herself almost killed – which, frankly, wouldn’t be the first time – but there is something about the way her face fell when she said it, that makes Adora even more uneasy.

“But I guess you’re right,” she says, taking Adora out of her thoughts.

“I doubt she’ll ever be in the mood to talk to you, but maybe she needs to.” She reaches out the plate and Adora grabs it with her hand. Scorpia doesn’t let go though.

Adora looks up and meets her cold gaze.

“But if I come back and she’s crying – crying because of _you_ – you better sleep with one eye open, _princess_.” She doesn’t say it like Catra does – mockingly, almost teasing – she says it as if it’s a slur, a bad word meant for a bad person. And maybe, she’s not too far off.

Adora gulps. She knows Scorpia can take a punch – hell, she could even take a punch from She Ra and still come out in one piece. But her size wasn’t what intimidated her (she could take a punch too, and she slept with a dagger under her pillow, just in case), no, it was her unapologetic _loyalty_. A thing, that Adora knew she’d never muster, not on the level Scorpia had.

“Duly noted,” is all she can get out. Satisfied, Scorpia nods and lets go of the plate.

Then, she smiles as if she hadn’t just threatened Adora’s life. “Have fun! Oh, and before you go, could you point me to the library? I think I wanna borrow some books to read while we’re here.” Adora nods slowly. “Yeah...it’s down this hall and to the left,” she says, and points to the hall on the right.

“Thanks!” Scorpia beams, and walks off, leaving a baffled Adora behind.

She takes the plate in both her hands and turns to look down the hall. Suddenly, the hall looks a lot longer than it usually does.

She sighs and starts walking. Her hands start to feel clammy, and she’s afraid the plate will slip from them, so she tightens her grip on it. Her mouth feels dry, although she is certain her back is already drenched with sweat. She tries to convince herself that it’s the heat, even if it’s not that time of the year, and she knows this, she knows it’s because of _her_.

Finally, she reaches the door to the infirmary, and places her hand on the doorknob…but then she pauses. Her heart beats so loud in her chest, she is sure it’ll jump out any second now.

 _This is it. She’s right behind that door. You can do this._ Could she?

“Yes,” she says to herself. She sighs, and turns the doorknob.

Catra’s voice cuts through the silence as she pushes the door with her shoulder.

“Finally! I’m _starving._ Please say you haven’t already made friendship bracelets with those Bright Moon idiots –” She cuts herself off when she sees Adora standing in the doorway.

Adora’s freezes under her gaze, plate in one hand, the other still on the doorknob.

Catra’s sitting up in the bed, pillows propped behind her back, but the only thing Adora notices is that she’s not wearing her headpiece. It’s laying next to her on the small nightstand, and a couple of dark locks fall into her face, as she crosses her arms and narrows her eyes in disgust at the sight of her. And yet, for reasons she can’t even begin to phantom, Adora’s heart skips a beat in her chest.

“Oh. It’s _you_ ,” she says coldly.

Adora blinks and tries not to stare, although it’s proving to be harder than she thought.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Catra scoffs and rolls her eyes. Then she looks back at Adora again, almost as if she’s expecting something. “Well?”

“I – I brought you dinner?” Adora says, finally moving out of her spot and closing the door behind her before walking towards the bed and placing the plate on the nightstand. She feels Catra’s eyes follow her every movement and it makes her stomach turn - but not necessarily in a bad way.

After setting down the plate, she steps back and stands by the chair at the end of the bed.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry,” Catra says.

Adora’s brows furrow. “You just said –”

“What do you want, Adora?”

Catra’s gaze is so intense, Adora has to look away.

“I –” The words are stuck in her throat. _Why is this so hard?_

Catra doesn't wait for her to continue, though.

“What, you came here to see me all weak and pathetic? Didn’t get enough the first time around?”

“No, I –”

“No, wait, you’re probably trying to recruit me to your little Rebellion, aren’t you? Well, good luck with that, because I’d rather scratch my own eyes out than join your little princess club.”

“No, I –”

“No? Then what is it, huh? What do you want from me!?”

“I’m sorry!”

And just like that, Catra stops talking.

She blinks, once, twice.

Adora catches her breath, waiting for an answer.

“What?” she finally says, voice low and almost winded.

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. And then, because Catra is still staring at her, “for leaving you.”

Just like that, Catra is back. She lets out a dry laugh.

“You’re _sorry_ ? For _leaving me?_ Oh, that’s rich!”

“Catra I –”

“ _You_ think you can just waltz in here and apologize after everything? What, you think that just because I almost died, I’d –”

“Will you please just _listen_?” Adora snaps.

Catra scowls but stays silent.

Adora lets out a breath and sits down on the chair before continuing “Look, I know I don’t have the right –”

Catra lets out a dry laugh but lets her continue.

“And I know I’ve hurt you; I know that. But I didn’t realize how much until now and I just –” She sighs and looks up at her. Blue eyes meet split ones and for a moment, Adora’s breath is caught in her throat.

“I’m sorry. For leaving you, for making you feel second best, for not understanding you better, for not apologizing sooner – for everything.”

Catra’s eyes narrow, but she doesn’t break her gaze.

“Why now?” she says.

“I guess…seeing you like this made me realize that it’s not a game. That you could die, _I_ could die, anytime, and then it’ll be too late.”

Catra hums, unimpressed.

“And because I finally have the chance, because for once we’re in the same room and not fighting.”

“Yeah, don’t get used to that,” Catra says, the corner of her mouth quirking upwards.

Adora can’t help the smile spreading on her face. “Please, you can hardly get out of the bed.”

A familiar smirk spreads across Catra’s lips. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s all part of my plan to take down the Rebellion, and you, once and for all.”

At that, Adora’s smile fades, which only makes Catra’s grin wider.

“Relax, I’m joking.”

Adora rolls her eyes.

“Or am I?”

She smiles again. She had missed this.

“So, I take it as you accepting my apology?” she asks.

Catra tilts her head, making dark locks of hair fall into her face, and Adora has to physically fight the urge to tuck them away.

“I…I don’t know. Maybe. Ask me again tomorrow.” Her face is unreadable when she says this, but Adora can see the sincerity in her eyes.

Adora’s brows furrow, but she keeps smiling. She gets it. This, their relationship, is still so fragile and complicated – she can’t possibly expect Catra to forgive her right away. But at least, she had apologized – she had done her part. Now it was Catra’s turn.

“I guess that’ll have to be good enough,” she says, and stands up again.

She walks towards the door, and just when she’s about to close it behind her, Catra says “Hey, Adora?”

Adora looks over her shoulder.

“Yeah?”

Catra doesn’t meet her gaze. “I – Never mind.”

With a shrug, Adora closes the door behind her and begins walking back to her room. She can’t help but wonder what Catra had wanted to say – and if it was the same thing she had wanted to say all day.

_I’ve missed you._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's post season 3, so im oficially tagging this as a fix-it fic hjhdfh. Oh, and for clarification, in this au, Shadow Weaver never came to Bright Moon and just escaped and fucked off ig. Listen...im just tired of the angst. can they be happy, please?

As soon as the door closes behind Adora, Catra begins to cry. The tears roll down her cheeks before she can stop them, and drop soundlessly off her chin onto the blanket in her lap.

Adora apologized, and yet...it doesn’t feel  _ right _ . On one hand, she’s happy, of course; she’s gotten what she wanted, hasn’t she? So, why does she feel so empty inside? Why isn’t she _ happy _ ?

She snivels and dries her face with her palm, but her face is wet again within seconds. She bites her lip. 

A memory flashes before her eyes – Hordak, looming over her, as she gasps for air, her vision blurring, her vision going black. Her hand grips the blanket, her nails digging into the soft fabric - she almost died today. She realizes that now.

Another memory: Adora, standing over her bed, her blue eyes filled with concern and a small crease between her brows - it’s too much, everything is  _ too much _ . 

Catra sobs and buries her face in her hands.

A soft knock on the door takes her out of her head, and she hastily dries the tears on her cheeks before yelling “Come in,” in a voice too meek for her liking.

Scorpia enters the room, and upon seeing Catra’s puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, immediately rushes to her side.

“Oh, I knew it was a bad idea to let you talk. You were bound to get upset!” She puts a comforting arm around Catra’s frame. Reluctantly, Catra lets her. These days, Scorpia is the only person that can get away with such blatant disregard for her personal space.

“What happened? Do you want me to beat her up for you?” 

She lets out a dry laugh at the thought of Scopia going toe-to-toe with the mighty She Ra.

“No, it’s fine. Or, obviously, it’s not, but..” she trails off.

Scorpia pulls away to look at her, that trademark friendly smile ever so present.

“Okay. I just want you to be happy, you know?”

Catra can feel her eyes starting to sting again. 

“No, I know…Thank you,” she says, not meeting her gaze right away. “And thank you for saving me, too.”

When she finally looks up, Scorpia’s expression softens. “No problem, wildcat.”

Catra rolls her eyes, but she feels that emptiness in her chest finally starting to fill – even if it’s just a little.

…

When Scorpia leaves for the night, having gotten a small room to herself down the hall, Catra stays up and watches the starless sky through her window, turning her headpiece in her hands.

Everything it stood for – her time in the Horde, her previous status – has gone up in smoke. For the first time ever, it feels uncomfortable on her head, a weight pushing down, a burden instead of a protection.

So, she’s taken it off, but she can’t bring herself to dispose of it, not yet. It was a part of her for so many years, both pushing away her uncontrolled bangs and softening her worst falls.

She traces the smooth surface with her fingers and sighs. She can remember the day she had gotten it as if it were yesterday.

Her and Adora must have been around fifteen standard years. Her bangs had grown pretty long, and she refused to cut them (because she was told to). This led to Shadow Weaver giving her the headpiece as a way to keep them out of her face in training.

It had been a little too big then, and of questionable origins; she and Adora had spent countless nights imagining where it had come from. (Catra’s favorite theory was that it was from her birth-mother, who was secretly a queen of a race of half-cat people, and that it could transform her into a big beast – not that she’d ever admit that, of course). As the years went on, Catra grew into it, and now it fits her perfectly.

Another sigh escapes her lips as she places it on her nightstand again before trying to get into a comfortable position under the covers. Her lungs still hurt from Hordak’s attack, and she can’t help the few coughs escaping her throat as she shifts in bed. But it’s getting better, at least. Maybe she and Scorpia will be on their way in a few days…which of course meant that she’ll have to part with Adora – without knowing when she’ll see her again.

The pain in her lungs is replaced by a different ache as she recalls their conversation. Even if they had been the most earnest than they had been in months – maybe even years – it still felt as if there was more to say. Of course,  _ Catra  _ always has more to say.

She wants to tell Adora everything – about Shadow Weaver’s abuse, Hordak’s abuse, about how she misses her so much it  _ hurts _ , and yet –

Of all the things she said, she didn’t say the right ones (she never does).

She turns in her bed a couple more time before she falls into a dreamless sleep.

…

The next day, Bow –  _ that can’t be his actual name _ – drops by after breakfast with the resident doctor. The woman runs a few tests and concludes that Catra just needs another day’s rest before she’s well enough to go. 

“Now, if you could try and stand up,” she says, taking off her round glasses and letting them dangle by the chain around her neck.

Catra eyes her with a frown but doesn’t object, as she slowly pushes herself off the bed to stand on her feet.

Of course, having been in bed all day yesterday, meant that her muscles were a little wobbly. She tries to take a step, but her legs fail her. Scorpia is quickly by her side, however, and supports her as she sits back on the bed.

“Hm,” the doctor hums, and starts writing on her board. Catra, on the other hand, can’t help but feel a little embarrassed. She is supposed to be tougher than this, dammit! She crosses her arms with a pout and eyes Bow, who’s standing behind the doctor. He shoots her a quick, encouraging smile and she feels like vomiting.  _ One of these days I’m gonna wipe that smile off his dumb face. _

 

When the doctor and Bow finally leave, Scorpia brings her lunch and a few books she’s borrowed from the library. Catra is just about to dig in when she sees that she hasn’t sat down on her chair, and is instead standing by the bed, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, with a pleading look on her face.

Catra rolls her eyes with a sigh. “What is it?”

Scorpia beams. “Well, it’s just that Bow invited me on a little tour around the grounds and –”

“Scorpia, remember that little talk we had about fraternizing with the enemy? Specifically, the part where I told you  _ not _ to do it?”

“Yes, but the deal said they weren’t allowed to try and recruit  _ you _ . I never said yes to that.”

Catra lets out a dry laugh. “What, you want to be a part of the Rebellion now?”

Scorpia shrugs. “No, but…I’m just trying to stay civil, that’s all. Besides, if I befriend him, maybe he’ll help us again – you know, if that whole rogue thing doesn’t work out after all.”

Catra quirks an unimpressed brow at her. On one hand, it wasn’t a bad idea – and she knew that if anyone could befriend the enemy, it was the very person in front of her, and yet… She doesn’t want to stay. She really, really doesn’t, and she doesn’t want to come back either but… She and Adora have just started something – something new, and fragile, and Catra knew it was naïve, but she wanted to see where it led them.

In the end, she says “Fine. But if I see a friendship bracelet, or, Etheria forbid, a _ flower crown _ –”

Scorpia doesn’t let her finish. “Ah thank you! I’ll be back before you know it!”

And with that, she runs out of the room.

“She’s gonna be the death of me.” She shakes her head with a sigh before turning to her plate. 

 

The food at Bright Moon is pure gourmet compared to the dry ration bars back in the Fright Zone. Just for breakfast, Catra had tasted flavors she didn’t even know existed. Her favorite, however, quickly became a sweet, purple fruit that she contently bites into as she picks up one of the books. 

Quickly bored by the dry text (it seemed to be some kind of history book), she closes it and picks up the next one. This one is even worse, because it’s in a language she can't even read.  _ Did Scorpia even check what she books she took, or did she just take those with a pretty cover?  _ Something told her that the latter was the case.

She throws the book aside and picks up the third. It’s red and thick, with golden foil details around the rim, and a shiny title, in gold as well.

“ _ Tales of Etheria _ , huh? This better not be another history book,” she says to herself and opens it.

The first page reads  _ The Knight of Bright Moon _ in a flashy, curvy font, and under it, the text starts with,  _ Once upon a time, in the shiny kingdom of Bright Moon… _

_ Oh, Etheria, this is a storybook for children _ , she realizes. And yet, she continues reading, because honestly? It’s better than nothing.

The story is simple, since it’s meant for children –  _ duh _ – but Catra can’t help but find it sweet, although quite unrealistic. The knight gets the princess at the end and they live happily ever after? Bull. That never happens in real life.

Even so, after she finishes the story, she reads another, and then one more, and with each she finds herself drifting away, into a time before her, before the war, filled with dragons and brave knights and happy endings.

She’s so enraptured in the book, that she doesn’t hear the soft knock on the door, nor when the door opens with a creak.

Only the familiar voice that follows makes her finally look up.

“Hey, Catra.”

She jumps and almost drops the book on the floor. When she looks over to the door, she sees Adora, leaning against the doorway with a smirk – and oh, how she wishes to wipe it off.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” she hisses.

“I knocked,” Adora shrugs and enters the room, closing the door behind her.

“I didn’t say you could come in.”

Adora halts, her hand already on the back of the chair.

Their eyes meet. “You want me to go?” she asks, quirking a brow.

“No,” Catra says, surprising herself. Maybe being in bed all day and reading children's stories had made her soft.

“Good.” That beaming smile is back on her face, and Catra hates how it almost makes her feel flustered.  _ Almost _ .

“I just finished training for the day, and I thought I’d keep you company, now that Scorpia’s away with Bow,” she says, finally sitting in the chair.

“How  _ chivalrous _ of you.” Catra tries to sound sarcastic, but she knows the small smile that’s already spreading on her lips doesn’t sell it.

Adora eyes her with amusement before looking down at the book in her lap.

“I see you’ve been reading my favorite book,” she says, her gaze landing on Catra’s again. She can feel a blush forming on her cheeks.

“Maybe. Why is your favorite book full of bedtime stories?”

Adora shrugs. “I just think they’re cute,” she says.

Before Catra can ask her to elaborate, she exclaims, “Oh! I brought cards!”

She fishes out a deck of playing cards and holds them up for her to see.

“You know how to play?”

Catra shakes her head. “No. Scorpia had just gotten me into board games and let's just say it’s not my favorite pastime…” She looks away. The real reason for this was because she kept losing, but Adora didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, we have some too! But I like cards better,” she says, as she swiftly begins to shuffle the deck, and maybe Catra is a little impressed, even if it’s the dumbest thing to be impressed by. 

“I’ll explain the rules as we go,” she says, and deals the cards.

After a round, Catra starts to get the hang of it. It’s simple really, but the thing that makes it fun is Adora’s dramatic reactions whenever she has to pick up a card (and in a game where you were supposed to dispose of your cards, this is considered bad).

“So, about those stories…” Catra says as she lays down three cards at a time, making Adora furrow her brows.

“Yeah, what about them?” she says, drawing a card.

“Why do you like them?” She glances at her cards before drawing one from the stack with a frown.

Adora puts down two cards as she says: “They’re nice, you know? Full of action, but also romance and –”

“Happy endings?” Catra finishes for her, putting down two cards as well.

“Yeah,” Adora says wistfully, drawing a card.

“I…I like them too. Because of that.” Catra looks down at her cards, ignoring Adora’s curious gaze.

“You do?” she asks.

“Yes,” Catra says, “but they’re too unrealistic. Happy endings don’t exist.” She puts down a card that makes Adora draw two, and the blonde frowns.

“I believe they do,” she says, a smile appearing on her lips as she looks down on her cards.

Catra looks up from hers and their eyes meet.

“Do you think – do you think we’ll have a happy ending?” She knows its naive, and childish, to even think that – but she can’t help but ask, because, although she’ll never admit this, she wants to believe – in them, in their future. She wants to believe they can fix it. The question is, could they?

Adora looks down at her cards in thought, before she makes a move.

“I think,” she says as she puts down a card, “that if we wanted to, we could.”

She looks up at Catra, and her eyes are soft and  _ hopeful _ . And Catra believes her.

“Rainbow,” she says, and lays down her last two cards. “I win.”

Adora breaks her gaze to look at her cards. She clicks her tongue, frustrated. “Dammit! I had just drawn a plus four, I should’ve used that!”

Catra can’t hold back a chuckle at her theatrics. “You’ll win next time,” she says without thinking.

Adora looks up again, her eyes lighting up.

“Next time?”

Catra blinks. “Yeah? Don’t you wanna play another round?”

Adora’s eyes widen. “Oh, yes, of course! Sorry, I just thought you meant…something else.”

Catra quirks a brow. “You thought I meant that I was going to stay?”

Adora gathers the cards and starts to shuffle them, not meeting her gaze.

“Well…yeah,” she admits, and Catra can easily spot the blush forming on her cheeks.

The day moon is shining through the window, casting a soft light on Adora, and making the small strands that have escaped her ponytail form a halo around her head, as she looks off to the side and mindlessly shuffles the cards in her hands.

Catra watches them without meaning to. They’re calloused and scarred, a soldier’s hands, much like her own. But she knows that if she were to take one of them, it would be warm, and the middle of the palm would be soft, even if the rest of it would be dry.

In that moment, she has to fight an urge to do so, because it’s too soon, and they still have to talk, because Adora has to understand that –

“Adora, I can’t stay.”

Adora turns to look at her with a somber gaze. “But  _ why _ ?”

“Because…” Catra trails off, as her eyes wander and land on the moon outside. “It’s complicated,” she sighs.

“Try me."

Catra meets her eyes again. Blue and earnest, waiting patiently for her to continue.

She takes a deep breath. “I always feel like...I’m following you. Even after you left, everything was still about  _ you _ . Shadow Weaver was obsessed with getting you back, and I – well, I wasn’t better myself. But you didn’t want to come back. And I just –” She lets out a deflated noise. 

“I started thinking that, maybe, there was something about this whole identity thing. Because with you gone, there were suddenly all these opportunities, to be a force captain, then Hordak’s second in command...but now,” she laughs dryly, “now that’s gone too. But I still want to find my place in this world, I guess. And maybe that’s with the Rebellion, maybe it’s not, but if it is, I want to join for  _ me _ , and not for you. Does that make sense?”

Adora looks at her for a silent moment, before slowly nodding.

“I get it.”

Catra quirks a brow in surprise. “You do?”

Her lips quirk upwards in a soft smirk. “Yeah...I just wish you would’ve told me sooner.”

Catra scoffs. “And I wish you would’ve taken me with you when you went for that stupid sword. But we don’t always get what we want, do we?” Catra’s voice cracks, ruining the spiteful intent of her words.

Adora sighs softly. “No, I guess we don’t.” 

They’re quiet for a moment as Adora deals the cards.

“I have a proposition,” she says as she picks up her own hand of cards.

Catra lifts a brow. “Yeah?”

Adora nods. “Yeah.” She puts down a card. “Stay in Bright Moon,” Catra opens her mouth to object, but Adora continues, “just for a few more days. I want –” She averts Catra’s gaze, as her cheeks visibly redden. “I want to show you around.”

Catra mulls it over for a second. On one hand, she really shouldn’t be staying longer than necessary, but on the other hand...maybe, just maybe, if she stayed, they could start to get closer to that happy ending Adora promised.

She puts down two cards as she says, “I’ll have to go over it with Scorpia first, although I don’t think she’ll mind if we stayed for a few more days,” she meets Adora’s gaze with a small smile, and Adora smiles back.

“Okay,” she says, and looks down at the cards. Catra had put out a plus two card.

Adora lets out a small grunt and Catra chuckles as she takes up two cards from the deck.

“I hate you,” Adora says, shifting the cards in hand.

“No, you don’t,” Catra says. 

Their eyes meet, and in a moment of weakness, Catra glances down at Adora’s lips. Her thoughts begin to run on their own accord - she thinks back to all the nights in the barracks, lying close to Adora, counting the the faint freckles on her cheeks, how her eyes, even then, would sometimes linger a little too long on Adora’s chapped lips, how she would wonder, just like she does now, how it would feel like to close that distance between them.

Her eyes flicker to Adora’s, and she, too, seems to be somewhere else, maybe in that same, shared bed, where everything was okay, where everything could’ve been perfect, if only -

Before her mind takes things further, however, Scopia bursts into the room.

“You’ll  _ never  _ guess what I saw – oh, hey, Adora.”

Catra jumps in the bed, and Adora almost falls back on the chair.

“Scorpia, hi…I thought you and Bow were off on a tour?” Adora says, a small blush on her cheeks.

Catra hides her own behind her hand of cards, as she tries to tear her gaze away from Adora.

“Oh, we were, but we just came back, so – I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” Scorpia looks between the two with an amused smile.

“No, not at all,” Catra says, her voice hoarse.

“We were just playing cards, that’s all,” Adora says, flashing a beaming smile.

Scorpia, obviously not convinced, draws out an “Ok-ay.”

There is an awkward pause. 

“Well, I better get going!” Adora says, making the chair almost fall when she hastily stands up and rushes past Scorpia in the doorway.

Scorpia eyes her silently as she passes by. Once she’s out the door, however, she turns to Catra with a shit-eating grin.

“Don’t –” Catra warns her, but it’s not like she can actually do anything, and Scorpia knows this, so she continues.

“Hey, Catraaa,” she sings, inching closer and sitting on the chair.

“Scorpia, I’m warning you,” Catra says, but it’s missing the usual bite to it.

“Remember that little talk we had about fraternizing with the enemy? Specifically, the part where you told  _ me _ not to do it? And yet what do I find when I come back…”

Catra lashes out at her with her claws, but Scorpia ducks, giddy as ever.

“I hate you,” she says.

“No, you don’t,” Scorpia says, still smirking.

Catra rolls her eyes and they land on a green cord on Scorpia’s claw.

“Is that a  _ friendship bracelet? _ ”

…

In the evening, Scorpia brings her dinner, and as she’s munching on a thing called a “fish” - which is, again, extremely delicious, and definitely worth almost-dying for - she tries to put her proposition together in her head.

She swallows, and takes a sip of her glass. “So, Adora suggested…” she cuts herself off when she spots the shit-eating grin on Scorpia’s face.

“Could you  _ not _ ,” she says, lifting a brow.

Scorpia bites her lip in an attempt to hide her grin.

“Sorry, continue. So, Adora suggested…”

Catra rolls her eyes. “She suggested that we’d stay a couple of days. She, uh,” she feels a blush creeping on her cheeks, “she wants to show me around.”

“Mhm, I see,” Scorpia says. “Well, I’m good either way. What you say, goes.”

Catra flashes her a small smile. “Really?”

Scorpia nods. “Yeah. I just want you to be happy. I care about you, you know.”

Catra’s blush deepens. “So I’ve heard.” She averts her gaze. “I care about you, too,” she mumbles.

“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t quite catch it,” Scorpia says.

Catra looks up to see a smirk on her lips. She rolls her eyes. “I care about you, too,” she says in a normal voice.

Scorpia’s smirk turns to a beaming smile. It almost reminds Catra of Adora’s.

“Aww, Catra,” she says, voice thick as if she is about to cry.

“If you start crying, I’ll take it all back.” Catra points a warning claw at her.

Scorpia nods, biting her smile. “Okay, okay. Can I at least hug you then?”

Catra rolls her eyes with a sigh. She puts her tray aside and opens her arms. “Fine. But only for five seconds.”

“Got it,” Scorpia says, immediately embracing her in a bone-crushing hug.

And Catra lets her. Why, she can’t really answer. Maybe because she’s too exhausted to fight it. Maybe it’s her way of saying “thank you for saving me”. Maybe she’s just grown soft, being bedridden for two days in a row.

Or maybe, and she hates to admit it, it’s nice. It’s nice having someone to care about her, to want the best for her. 

Scorpia is not Adora though, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe Scorpia can be her friend, too.

...

Two days later, Catra can finally stand on her feet, and since she had agreed to stay for a couple more days, at least until she and Scorpia figure out what’s next for them, she gets her own room, too.

And what are the chances that it is right across from Adora’s?

Catra moves in at noon. She stays in her room the whole afternoon, trying to sleep the first half of the time, and reading the other. Once she finishes the sixth story in  _ Tales of Etheria _ , she concludes to herself that she’s officially bored.

Without any better ideas, she decides to go bother Adora.

When she knocks on her door, however, she gets no answer. She knows that Adora’s probably done with her training by now, so it seems weird that she wouldn’t be in her room.

Not thinking twice about it, Catra pushes the door open and enters Adora’s room.

The room is a bit bigger than her own, but just as bright and pastel.  _ Like everything in this princess castle _ , she thinks, rolling her eyes. 

The ceiling is tall, and a glass door leads out to a small balcony on the other end of the room. Adora, however, is nowhere to be seen.

Deciding to take revenge for the other day when Adora had walked in on her, Catra sits down on Adora’s bed (which is almost identical to the ones they had back in the Horde, for some reason), and waits patiently, as she tries to imagine the look on Adora’s face when she finally comes back and sees her. She can’t help but chuckle at the thought.

Just then, Adora herself steps out of the bathroom (which Catra had thought to be the closet), with wet hair and wrapped in a towel, while humming to herself.

All Catra can do is stare, as she walks over to the small dresser standing opposite of the bed, and starts to take out clothes from one of the drawers.

It’s not like Catra hasn’t seen her naked before. When you grow up together, especially in small quarters, privacy is practically non-existent. But she hasn’t seen her naked since she’d left the Horde - since she started changing into She Ra. And that...well, that meant her body had changed, too.

She can only see her muscled back and toned arms, but even that is enough to make her blood rush through her body…That is until she notices the scars. And just like that, her blood turns to ice.

That is also exactly the moment Adora looks up into the mirror above her dresser and notices her. She yelps, and turns around so quickly, Catra is sure she could’ve gotten a whiplash. 

In the process, she also somehow manages to almost drop her towel, which she now clings to for dear life, her face growing a deep red as she faces Catra.

“What are you doing here?”

Catra catches herself staring and quickly looks away as she says: “I was just –” Her voice cracks. She clears her throat. “I was just checking in. I thought you were done training and, well…” She dares to look at Adora again. She looks just as flustered as Catra is feeling.

“Ah, okay…well, I just got out of the shower so…” Adora trades off.

“Yeah, I can  _ see that _ ,” Catra says, trying, and failing, not to sound winded.

Adora lets out an awkward chuckle and Catra really,  _ really _ regrets coming in the first place.

“Okay, I think I’m gonna put my clothes on now,” Adora says and Catra swears she’s trying to make this even more awkward on purpose.

“Please do,” she says, looking away.

She hears the towel drop to the floor and waits a few seconds before she dares to look up again. Facing away from Catra, Adora is wiggling herself in a pair of pants, her back still bare, and the scars are even more visible than before. Catra can’t help but notice that they’re longer than she’d thought they’d be. A pang of guilt settles into her stomach, and she almost hates to ask, but –

“Are those…” she says quietly, making Adora turn her head back with a raised brow.

“Huh? You said something?”

“Are those…” Catra repeats herself, a little louder. Adora is still giving her a puzzled look.

“Your scars. Did I…?” She doesn’t finish her question, as a serious expression sets on Adora’s face. Adora nods.

Catra chews on her lip. Could she even make herself ask?

“Can I…?” She motions for the scars. Adora looks at her, face unreadable, but eyes swirling with emotion. She nods again.

Slowly, Catra gets up from the bed and makes her way towards the dresser. She stops behind her and lifts her hand over her pale back. She’s about to touch the place where the scars start, but doesn’t – she can’t. 

Instead, she lets her eyes trace the white lines that start at Adora’s shoulder blades and continue, over her back and all the way down to her waist.

She did this. She scarred Adora. She  _ hurt _ her. The guilt in her stomach grows bigger, but a masochistic part of her makes her keep her eyes where they are.

“Did it hurt?” she asks, genuinely curious.

“Only in the moment,” Adora says, looking over her shoulder and meeting her gaze.

“It ached afterward; it still does, sometimes.” 

Catra nods absentmindedly, her eyes fixating on the scars again.

“I–” She chokes on her words.  _ I’m sorry. _ She can’t say it. Why can’t she say it?

“It’s just scars, Catra,” Adora says, grabbing a shirt from the drawer and putting in on. She turns around and shoots her a sheepish smile. Catra notes, that it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“They fade,” Adora says.  _ I forgive you _ . She doesn’t say it out loud, but she doesn’t have to.

 Catra nods.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Adora’s smile grows and finally reaches her eyes.

“So, wanna play Rainbow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> many many thanks to opal for sitting through this the whole summer ghhfh  
> * also side note, yes, Rainbow is the etherian equivalent of Uno.

**Author's Note:**

> A HUGE thanks to my betas, savannah and opal for reading through this mess...you guys are the real mvps T_T


End file.
